Budgeting Under Duress: A Calculator For Our Times!

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function generate(){
var my_num=Math.random();
var resultField = document.getElementById(“results”);
resultField.innerHTML=(my_num*10000);
return false;
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function addDigit(digit) {
var resultField = document.getElementById(“results”);

resultField.innerHTML += digit;

return false;
}

var randomStrings = [
“don’t give up just yet”,”start again”,”start over”,”confused”,”frustrated…”,”wrong answer”,”doesn’t add up”, “begin again”,”try for EI?”,”ldksjKLJJFKLFJjlerk”,”ERWEREWRFEJKKN”,”lkjdfsjkldf”,”goddamn it”,”got to sell yourself”,”self-improvement!”,”back to square one”,”try again”,”keep trying”,”develop skills”,”re-prioritize”,”brand yourself”,”market yourself”,”what should i do?”,”what do i want in life?”,”grow up” // Note: No comma after last entry
];
function RndMsg() {
var msg = randomStrings[Math.floor(Math.random()*randomStrings.length)];
document.getElementById(‘results’).innerHTML = msg;
return false;
}

function reset() {
var resultField = document.getElementById(“results”);

resultField.innerHTML = “start again”;

return false;
}

function getHandlerFunction(innerHTML) {
return function() {
addDigit(innerHTML);

return false;
};
}

onload = function() {
var links = document.getElementsByTagName(“a”);
var length = links.length;

for (var i = 0; i < length; i++) { var link = links[i]; var innerHTML = link.innerHTML; var func = null; switch (innerHTML) { case "Clear": func = RndMsg; break; case "7": func = generate; break; case "2": func = generate; break; case "nein": func = generate; break; case "69": func = generate; break; case "555": func = generate; break; case "3.4": func = generate; break; case "8": func = generate; break; case "won": func = generate; break; case "0.4": func = generate; break; case "00": func = generate; break; case "=": func = generate; break; default: func = getHandlerFunction(innerHTML); } link.addEventListener("click", func, false); } }; [/script] [/inline]

We are proud to announce the release of
Budgeting Under Duress: A Calculator For Our Times!

7 2 nein +
69 555 3.4
8 won .04 *
Clear 00 = /

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That we are living in a period of great financial insecurity is well documented and widely acknowledged.*  Contract, temporary, and part-time work is available and on the rise; but finding a career that will take you through to retirement is increasingly unrealistic. Even adults of every stripe – single mothers; experienced professionals – must accept insecurity, taking positions with limited hours, and therefore juggling several positions simultaneously, with contracts ranging from several weeks to several months; they frequently earn less than before – since who knows what the next position will be and when? – part-time, no guarantees, a future that can’t be planned for, working above ability, working beneath skill level… And these are the ones lucky enough to escape underemployment.

[/wpcol_3quarter] [wpcol_1quarter_end id=”” class=”” style=”font-size:11px;”]*Some coverage of the freelance/
contract-based job market can be found here, here, here.[/wpcol_1quarter_end]

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In this freelance economy, where work is piecemeal, budgeting is virtually impossible.  Contracts are offered as needed; there will be work as needed – but who can say what will be needed?  When will it be needed?   Will you be needed?  Formerly living paycheque to paycheque, get used to living job to job, contract to contract. Budgeting Under Duress will help you plan your financial future in these unstable times.  It is the only calculator to offer you completely random inputs and results.  In the face of an unpredictable economy and job market, what you need is unpredictable data!  What you need is data you can’t plan for!  The ground is moving, the sand is shifting beneath your feet – don’t be left behind:  compute unreliably!

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You have been told to be grateful for the abundance of contract work – every temporary job is an audition.  Which of your ‘auditions’ will get you noticed?  Simply enter the relevant information into Budgeting Under Duress in order to receive your answer:  a randomly generated number.  Have you hustled sufficiently?  Have you taken on additional work? Have you worked overtime while still looking for additional work with your spare time?  Enter all the relevant information so that your answer may disregard it.  Planning for the future has never been so easy:  this is the first calculator to respect the fact that you have no idea what your future is.

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The labour force becomes entrepreneurial and creative – this is good.  But professional instability and the declining quality of employment produces high levels of stress and anxiety as well.  What will you do if the stress is overwhelming?  Protective social apparatus are based on old paradigms; they assume that you are protected by benefits, a pension, health and dental coverage.  You aren’t.  The New Deal is old and irrelevant.  The old deal.  The no deal.  Deal with it.  Planning a crisis of any kind?  Of course not.  Crises are inherently unplanned.  Since you will shoulder the financial burden, simply enter the figures relevant to all the unplanned crises you plan to endure:  enjoy the comfort of a number that is meaningless.

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Is the medicine worse than the disease?  How will public spending be affected in a climate of uncertainty and reduced wages?  How will productivity be affected by the answer to that question?  And what about quality and availability of work?  Standard of living?  Economists and policy makers:  Budgeting Under Duress is not just for the plebeians any more!  Tap frantically at the buttons, generate a malformed body of data, and steer the ship of state with whatever ridiculous concatenation of information you have amassed.  Can you honestly say that planning, deliberation, and care have yielded better results?  Take pride in your recklessness and random ignorance.

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Budgeting Under Duress: when numbers mean nothing.

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